Overheard in My Apartment

There's a great site that was recommended to me a while ago called Overheard in New York and the related site Overheard in the Office. People submit amusing conversations that they have overheard. I often hear very random things in my apartment and have started keeping a list of the more entertaining statements and conversations I hear. Here are a few for your entertainment:

“You never smell me when I ask you to.”

“You don’t have green eyes.”
”If you ever looked at me, you’d know.”

“Do you usually get up in the middle of the night and eat corn?”
“No, but I usually get up in the middle of the night and watch porn.”