Mandy: Of course your words and thoughts don't live up to Christy's, Mandy! Nobody can replace the original person that you love and miss so much -- duh.
Me: But I do want to honor my best friend's memory.
Mandy: Well then write for cripes sake!
Me: But it's not my story to tell.
Mandy: Maybe not, but her story has definitiely become a big part of your story -- her friendship and loss have had a major impact on your life, after all.
Me: You have a point. My life is better for having known her...but reliving the loss is so hard.
Mandy: Maybe that is what is really keeping you from telling Christy's story -- grief?
Me: Probably. I still miss her every day. When something bad happens, I want to call her and tell her about it. When something good happens, I wish she were there to share it with me. Damn it! Why did she have to leave us?!
Mandy: It is not fair -- it never is.
Me: And Christy was so right: Cancer does suck ass!
Mandy: As I see it, you have two choices: 1)Continue sharing her story; or 2)Hold your memories inside, and keep them private and close to your heart. The second option may not help anyone else, but it may bring comfort to you.
Me: You make option 2 sound so selfish when you put it that way...
Mandy: Maybe because it kind of is, but nobody would blame you for grieving in your own way.
Me: I can't help but wonder what Christy would want me to do. Maybe I should make a bracelet with "WWCD?" inscribed on it -- ha!
Mandy: Now, we both know Christy would love that! :-)
Me: Look at that! We made me laugh!
Mandy: Laughter is always good. In fact, Christy always said it was the one single thing that made her feel "normal."
Me: Out of respect, I will leave the obvious response to that last comment alone ;-) Maybe I could tell some of her funnier stories? To make others laugh?
Mandy: You could give it a try -- never hurts to try. Although, it does hurt to laugh sometimes :-)
Me: You do realize that not only am I talking to myself, but I am also basically texting myself. Mortifying.
Mandy: Yes it is.
Me: Gee, thanks, Mandy.
Mandy: No problemo. That's what I'm here for, girlfriend! *SNAP*
Me: Christy? Is that you?....